Do-It-Yourself Netflix

I don’t have Netflix.  I do, however, have an impressively moderate-sized collection of DVDs (~55 movies).  Believe it or not, the good ol’ fashioned DVD collection still holds some key advantages over streaming: You don’t need to worry about whether that movie you’ve been meaning to get to will rotate out of the library; you’ll never be thwarted by buffering or other connectivity issues; AND you’ll never have to change your streaming password after a breakup (which, apparently, is a thing).  

Of course, there are also some disadvantages.  The selection is much smaller.  You won’t be able to use the Netflix account you still share with your ex to keep tabs on what they watch (also apparently a thing).  And worst of all, you won’t get those uncanny personalized movie categories like “Dark Westerns,” “Underdog Period Pieces,” and “Mid-Life-Crisis Showbiz Tearjerkers.”

That is, until now.

I have complete faith that my listlessly curated little DVD collection can keep up with any Internet behemoth (you’re next, Amazon).  So, in the spirit of changing your own oil and making an omelet using eggs from your own backyard chickens, I’ve crafted my own personal movie categories—à la Netflix—using only movies from my DVD shelf.  Here are the top ten:

10. Visually Striking Science Fiction

A.I. Artificial Intelligence (2001)

9 (2009)

Prometheus (2012)

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (2005)

9.  Movies about African American History

Amistad (1997)

The Great Debaters (2007)

42 (2013)

8.  Genre Sendups

Spaceballs (1987)

Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975)

Zombieland (2009)

7.  Movies That Are Popular among Mormons

Pay It Forward (2000)

The Chronicles of Narnia:
The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe (2005)

Napoleon Dynamite (2004)

6.  Movies to Which You Could Trace the Blame for the Ongoing Superhero Glut

Batman (1989)

X-Men (2000)

Batman Begins (2005)

5.  “Teacher as Hero” Movies

Stand and Deliver (1988)

Lean on Me (1989)

School of Rock (2003)

4.  Movies You Don’t Exactly Love, but Keep on Your Shelf Anyway So People Think You Have Good Taste

Driving Miss Daisy (1989)

West Side Story (1961)

The Maltese Falcon (1941) 

Fargo (1996)

3.  Movies You Own Because You’re an Adult

Muppet Treasure Island (1996)

The Goonies (1985)

Wall-E (2008)

2.  Movies with Rich People Being Jerks

Capitalism: A Love Story (2009)

The Social Network (2010)

There Will Be Blood (2007)

1.  Movies with Leonardo DiCaprio Getting in WAY Over His Head

The Departed (2006)

Shutter Island (2010)

Inception (2010)