some fiction

Confidence Interval

The hill.

It was a rather small hill.  But it was steep.

Very steep.

I stopped at the top of the hill, as I did every morning, with one foot on the ground, and the other nervously toeing the pedal of my bike.  I stared, as I did every morning, toward the bottom of the hill, deciding whether to work up the nerve to roll down, or simply to walk down as usual.

I didn’t learn how to ride a bike until several months prior, at age twenty-two.  I didn’t need to learn (I’d been driving for years), but I didn’t want to go on being the guy who couldn’t ride a bike.

I started riding regularly several weeks earlier to get to my new job, despite having little confidence with cycling.  Staring down the hill that Monday morning, a hill which would give no pause to a typical prepubescent cyclist, I wondered whether I was still the guy who couldn’t ride a bike.

I called up memories to steel myself for the ride down.  Two came to mind.

The previous Friday, during this same morning ritual, I bit my lower lip, started rolling down the hill, kept rolling, picked up speed, staved off panic, applied the brakes generously, skidded a bit when I reached the bottom, and then continued on my way.  I did it.  And I could do it again.

The second memory was of a party later that night.

The girl.

She was a rather small girl.  But she was beautiful.

Very beautiful.

I was smitten with her early in the evening.  I clung to the walls most of the night, stealing glances at her, trying to decide whether I should work up the nerve to talk to her, or to keep to myself as usual.

I drifted to where she stood.  I made a joke about the music.  She laughed.  We talked about the latest movies.  I was funny.  Unpretentious.

When I told her my name, she told me she was a model.  Then she excused herself to get a new drink.

I was later told that she was seeing someone.  Also, she really did model.

But I needed to get to work. And to decide whether I could ride a bike down this hill.

I bit my lower lip, dismounted, and walked to the bottom.