Apes Will Rise . . . Unless They've Gotten Up Already

I just watched Rise of the Planet of the Apes.  It seems that Andy Serkis is doomed to play apish anti-heroes for the rest of his career.  It also seems that Tom Felton is doomed to play sadistic brats for the rest of his career.  Do you know what I’d like to see?  Felton playing an apish anti-hero and Serkis playing a sadistic brat.  Of course, one of those performances would require motion capture, since the actor could not realistically represent the character without help from CGI.  Felton, however, would have no problem pulling off an apish anti-hero.

Overall, I enjoyed RotPotA.  It did a lot of things right.  For instance, the plot of this remake steered clear of the time paradox problems of the original.  The mention of the disappearance of the Icarus space shuttle was also a nice touch.  That little nod not only strengthened ties with the very first Planet of the Apes, but also reinforced the hubristic themes of the movie.  And best of all, it looks like this is a total reboot of the series.  With any luck, they’ll redo the original PotA, and we’ll be able to pretend that the uncanny valley-dwelling Tim Burton version never even happened.

Eek!  Is this supposed to be cute, Mr. Burton?  It looks like the result of a game played in Hell's bottom corner (played by Helena Bonham Carter)

I know RotPotA is not intended as hard science fiction.  Nevertheless, I cannot overlook some glaring primatological flaws that strained my suspension of disbelief.

Exhibit A:  Scientists are amazed at how quickly enhanced chimps solve the Lucas Tower puzzle.

The reason this puzzle is so difficult is that the rules are complex.  Getting an ape to understand and follow the rules is a greater accomplishment than getting it to actually solve the puzzle.  The movie assumes that normal apes are smarter than they are in reality.  For further evidence, see the next exhibit.

Exhibit B:  An unenhanced orangutan strikes up a sign-language conversation with a supergenius chimpanzee.

The ability to use language separates humans from animals.  Language is more than just words or signs, it also includes the rules for arranging words or signs.  For example, English has grammatical rules which give different meanings to the sentences “Dog bites man” and “Man bites dog.”

In real life, plenty of apes have been taught to use hand signs.  Scientists dispute whether these signs are really language, though, since it’s unclear if apes can understand and follow grammatical rules.  For example, a chimp who knows signs would probably make the signs “me banana give” and “give banana me” interchangeably.  (For a film that really illuminates this issue, see Project Nim)

In RotPotA, however, Maurice the orangutan not only understands grammar, but goes on to discuss what happened in the past (“I was circus orangutan”), what will happen in the future (“Humans no like smart ape”) and other abstract concepts.  There’s no question:  This orangutan is using sign language.  And if apes are capable of that on their own, the only thing that makes Caesar special is that he conjugates his verbs correctly and is quick with a Rubik’s Cube.

I could go on. But that’s enough over-analysis for a movie that’s made more to sell popcorn than explore the philosophical implications of sentient apes.